biblical marriage Archives - Biblical Counseling Institute

Introduction to Biblical Counseling–Lublin Poland

BCI has the great privilege of teaching biblical counseling through the Biblical University of Lublin Poland. We will be training approximately 50 students, many of which are actively involved in church plants throughout Poland. The first class will be offered via the Internet Simulcast Transmission, with future classes occurring online and on site in Poland. … Read More

Gospel Centered Biblical Counseling

I will be returning to New Generation Church in Mobile, Alabama to lead their upcoming Biblical Counseling Conference. The theme of the conference is: Gospel Centered Biblical Counseling. This will be an excellent study, suitable for seasoned biblical counselors, former students, and those who are new to biblical counseling. On Saturday July 20th, we are … Read More

The Sufficiency of Scripture in the Christian Life

I have the great privilege of returning to the Word from the Barn Fellowship in Suamico (Green Bay), Wisconsin on Sunday May 19, 2019. I will be preaching at both the morning (10:00 am) and evening (6:00 pm) services. The topic of the teaching is: The Sufficiency of Scripture in the Christian Life. My new book: Why … Read More

Marriage Conference

Dr. Ab and Karen Abercrombie will be speaking at the fall Marriage Conference of New Generation Church, based in Mobile, AL. The conference will be held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Miramar Beach, FL. We look forward to serving with Pastor Everage Thomas and his wife Laura, teaching the biblical principles of marriage. For … Read More

Married Life with an Unbeliever

August 24, 2018August 24, 2018

By Dr. Ab Abercrombie

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? (2 Cor 6:14-15, NKJV).

The language of this passage is very direct and absolute. Paul writes with clarity that leaves no room for discussion or concession. Christians should not, must not, be “yoked together with unbelievers”. And yet within our counseling ministry, this is perhaps the fastest growing segment of counselees seeking marriage counseling.

The issues affecting this mixed marriage are often complicated and even volatile. As our text states, there is no communion (fellowship) between light and darkness, and there is no accord (agreement) between Christ and the devil. How then do we expect these contrary spirits to effectively merge?

Biblical Counseling with Children and Adolescents

Biblical Counseling with Children and Adolescents offers focused, specialized training for helping children and teens between the ages of six (6) and eighteen (18). The student is given specialized training on matters of childhood development and the unique challenges that come with this population. Much emphasis is given to the process of helping parents in … Read More

Biblical Counseling with Couples & Families

Biblical Counseling with Couples and Families trains the counselor to intervene with relationship problems present in pre-marital, marital, and other family relationships. A system of pre-marital counseling is taught along with techniques for addressing mild to severe marital conflict. Critical issues such as marital preparedness, Biblical structure for marriage, communication, and intimacy are explored along … Read More

Certificate Program in Biblical Counseling

The Body of Christ is called to restore the fallen (Gal 6:1-2) and evangelize the lost (Matt 28:18-19). Join us for this important training that helps the Church answer its biblical mandate to “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2).

Marital Abandonment

August 16, 2017August 29, 2013

Dr. Ab Abercrombie

Don had been married thirty years to the wife of his youth. Together they raised three children, built two careers, and seemed headed for late-life contentment. Suddenly Don’s wife announced, “I don’t love you. This marriage has been a mistake from the beginning. I want a divorce.”

Janice had been married 19 years when her husband left her without explanation. Within weeks, he abandoned his job, relocated, and refuses to speak to his wife and children. As a stay-at-home mother, she is without financial support and terrified for her future. Her husband has “left the grid” and refuses to respond.

Both couples profess Christ and previously demonstrated evidence of salvation and fruit within their respective homes. Regrettably these stories are far too common within God’s Church, and the Body is facing an onslaught of spousal abandonment. There is increasing need for biblical counsel on this topic and we must examine God’s Word on the matter.

As a biblical counselor I have repeatedly heard that “abandonment” is biblical grounds for divorce. I have heard it from pastors, leaders, and individuals who have been deserted. But does Scripture support this claim. Jesus said:

“It was said, ‘WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE ‘; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matt 5:31-32).

Jesus never wavered on this point. No other reference to an acceptable divorce appears in Scripture. And even the matter of sexual immorality is to first be addressed under the biblical themes of forgiveness, reconciliation, and obedience to the admonition that God hates divorce (Mal 2:16).

Often the victim of abandonment will have no choice. The spouse who leaves may initiate a divorce and refuse reconciliation. On this point, the rejected spouse has little recourse. Yet too frequently, the abandonment results in a prolonged separation, with the absent spouse taking no steps toward a permanent ending. What then should be our counsel?

Love Her Into Submission…

August 17, 2017May 22, 2013

Dr. Ab Abercrombie

Christian men everywhere unite! It is time to help our wives toward biblical obedience once and for all! Women everywhere should answer their scriptural mandate:

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord (Eph 5:22).

I know you have done everything to get these “weaker vessels” (1 Pet 3:7) in line. But in your frustration you have abdicated your responsibilities. In response the women were left to dictate the order in your home, define the family’s spiritual focus, work long, tiring hours away from the children, and run the churches you attend. No matter how much you complain, criticize, yell, sulk, or withdraw, those women just keep assuming control and overriding your authority.

But while you believe that you have exhausted your options, I bring one last hope for turning this mayhem around. It is a tricky maneuver to be sure; they will never see it coming…Let’s love them into submission!

Yes it is challenging and no it won’t happen overnight. But take heart…if we persevere these unique creatures can be transformed into wonderful helpers designed just for us! (Gen 2:18).

Step 1…Become a man under authority…

Submission conveys love, trust, and respect for authority. It depicts a willingness to sacrifice one’s desires in service to another. I know it has been a long time, but think back to high school physics class and recall the most basic physical law: “Every action yields an equal and opposite reaction.”

According to God’s Word, when you learn to submit (conveying love, trust, and respect), your wife will be compelled to do the same. Speaking of Christ, Paul wrote:

And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all (Eph 1:22-23).

All authority belongs to Christ. A submitted man recognizes and honors this truth first and foremost. Seeking surrender and humility before the Lord presents a model for the wife to follow. An obedient man is a trustworthy and reliable leader because his motivations are not selfish, but rather his existence and aim is to the glory of God.