Biblical Counseling with Couples and Families Poland

Biblical Counseling with Couples and Families trains the counselor to intervene with relationship problems present in pre-marital, marital, and other family relationships. A system of pre-marital counseling is taught along with techniques for addressing mild to severe marital conflict. Critical issues such as marital preparedness, Biblical structure for marriage, communication, and intimacy are explored along … Read More

Biblical Counseling with Children and Adolescents

Biblical Counseling with Children and Adolescents offers focused, specialized training for helping children and teens between the ages of six (6) and eighteen (18). The student is given specialized training on matters of childhood development and the unique challenges that come with this population. Much emphasis is given to the process of helping parents in … Read More

“Catch Me Daddy…”

Dr. Ab AbercrombieCatch me Daddy

Recently my daughter came to visit from college…only this time she was accompanied by her fiancé. When exactly did my “baby” become this beautiful, 21 year-old, young woman?  Sarah’s unbalanced toddle has been replaced by a determined, self-directed gait. Her moments of uncertainty and hesitation have long yielded to a spirited confidence and an independent mind. And her ready compliance to her father’s authority now struggles, resists, and even rebels, as she tries to work out who she is and where she is headed.

I love her energy, zest, and spirit for life. I am grateful for her poise. But I would be less than truthful if I said I didn’t miss the soft, submissive two-year-old who held tightly to my finger as we walked down the street; who called for me when she was unsure; who trusted every word I spoke as truth and brilliance; and who believed Daddy could do anything!

So many times we played together in the bay behind our house as she freely explored the water, fish and hermit crabs? Hundreds of times she stood on the pier and shouted, “Catch me Daddy” as she jumped into the water, supported and protected by my waiting arms. I am proud to report that I never dropped her, not even once! She was fearless because I was there, overseeing her every move. I was vigilant in my watch for anything that would harm her, and she knew she was safe in my care.

Today, as a burgeoning adult, Sarah is nearing the end of her college career and the beginning of married life. As she has grown, she has become confident in her own care and is convinced that my abilities have been previously overrated!  It’s a struggle watching my baby grow up…painful really. Sometimes it is especially difficult when I know she needs me, but refuses to call.

As a young adult her signals are harder to read. Instead of asking permission, she asks for forgiveness; instead of seeking my approval, she demands my agreement; and rather than holding tight she is pulling free. But in the midst of all the turmoil and confusion, if I listen really hard, I can still hear her cry: “Catch me Daddy.”

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False gods and the Sacrifice of Children

Dr. Ab Abercrombie

Blonde girl smiling

 After receiving God’s magnificent grace and abundant supply throughout the generations, the Jewish nation was quick to forget and ultimately reject the God of their salvation. Frequently following God’s rescue and provision, His people would attach themselves to foreign nations for support and protection. In doing so Israel would adopt the traditions, culture, and gods common to the nation upon which they depended.

An excellent account of this occurs in Ezekiel 16 where God, through the prophet, describes how He rescued a lost, despised, and hopeless people (Israel), giving them life and identity as His own children. Using the parable of an abandoned newborn, God illustrates how He rescued and raised the rejected infant to maturity, only to have the child devote its heart to a foreign god (Ezk 16:1-19). In their idolatry, God’s people turned even to the literal sacrifice of their children.

“Moreover, you took your sons and daughters whom you had borne to Me and sacrificed them to idols to be devoured. Were your harlotries so small a matter? You slaughtered My children and offered them up to idols by causing them to pass through the fire” (Ezk 16:20-21).

 When New Testament Christians read of such abominations in Scripture, we often have difficulty relating and fail to see its application. After all we no longer witness children placed in the sacrificial fire to honor Molech or Ashtoreth. But as a biblical counselor I would suggest that idolatry is alive and well and children are indeed offered on the altar of countless “high places.”

The worship of self is primary and has fragmented the biblical home into pockets of individual gratification, personal goals, rights and entitlements. Biblical order is often abandoned because God’s structure interrupts one’s selfish ambition (Phil 2:3-4), calling instead for the glory and magnification of God above all else (Mark 12:30).

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Growing Families: Two Kinds of Seed

Dr. Ab Abercrombie

Wheat head

Parenting is a challenge.  In fact, it might be one of the most demanding aspects of the Christian life because the potential ramifications are so great.  And, when we consider the condition of our world and the deterioration of our culture, the task is even more daunting.

 If we look at the research concerning children, we could become very discouraged.  Psychiatrists and psychologists tell us we are approaching an epidemic of childhood mental illness.  Learning disabilities, clinical depression, attention deficit disorder, bipolar conditions, violent assault, disregard for authority, suicide, sexual promiscuity, and teen pregnancy are all on the increase according to the professionals.

And what explanations do the experts offer?  They tell us that there is an explosion of biochemical imbalances, genetic vulnerability, and organic illnesses to blame.

Their answer: medication management. Today, 40 out of every 1,000 children are taking anti-psychotic medications to control their behavior.  And this doesn’t include the millions who are taking medication for depression and anxiety!  Notice I said medication management not medical cure.  In truth, psychiatry and psychology has never cured anybody.  The best they can offer is to help someone remain comfortably sick while subduing their behavior.

But Scripture offers a very different explanation, and a different answer, for these problems. In God’s Word, there is a precise order for the home.  There is a clearly defined role for the husband and father; an explicit function for the wife and mother; and a system of training and structure for the child.  Scripture even goes so far as to prescribe a cure for disobedient, sinful conduct…His name is Jesus Christ!

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An Empowered Life

Dr. Ab AbercrombieMountain climber

 The biblical counselor often meets with individuals and families who feel “powerless.” In their horizontal orientation, they look about frantically for stability through people and life circumstances that fail answer their most basic need. Too frequently the counseling approach taken unwittingly perpetuates this process by addressing these external influences first, instead of seeking to alter the spiritual orientation of the counselee. Put another way, the solutions needed are not found in this world, but in the constant, abiding security of Christ.

In speaking of God’s Servant (Jesus), the prophet Isaiah invited Israel to “come” to the only sufficient source of provision, comfort, function, and life:

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Circumstantial Spirituality

By W.P. “Ab” Abercrombie, Ph.D.Intense man dark

Recently I have noticed a trend in my counseling ministry I refer to as; “circumstantial spirituality.” In other words, many counselees become very spiritual at the time their sins are uncovered, only to return to the secular life when the crisis has passed. These are individuals who seek support because of exposure rather than conviction of conscience.

The challenge for the biblical counselor comes in helping this briefly spiritual person, stay in the light long enough for the true heart condition to be revealed. But such counselees are often intolerant of the glare of this heavenly illumination. Jesus spoke of this reality stating:

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The Problem of Anger

By:Dr. W.P. “Ab” AbercrombieAngry man red shirt

Anger has become so commonplace in our world that we have fallen prey to the idea that it is a normal, even useful, condition. We have slowly shaped its definition into something more palatable and acceptable, while ignoring its seductive and controlling capacities. Regrettably, like many other elements of the world, anger is considered a reasonable and ordinary human reaction within the Body of Christ. But how has something so physically and relationally toxic, been weaved into our daily standard?

The psychological notions of health and normalcy have hypnotized Christians. Many issues that were previously addressed within a biblical context now are infused with humanism based upon the experience and report of the world and its authorities. Regarding anger, many Christians have come to believe that:

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Husband the High Calling of God

By: W.P. “Ab” Abercrombie, Ph.D. Serious Man

After decades of “wise” instruction from the likes of Sigmund Freud, Hugh Hefner, and Dr. Phil, we men should have ourselves, and our relationships, figured out. But for all of their theories and speculations, the world’s authority comes down to one basic belief: Focus on the self matters more than the selfless attention to our wives and children.

Yet, divorce rates continue to rise, infidelity is rampant, fatherless homes are the norm, and the use of psychiatric medications for daily functioning has skyrocketed. The problem may not be the availability of information, but rather the reliability of its wisdom.

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Marriage God’s Way: The Wife’s Call

By: Dr. Ab and Karen AbercrombiePre-marriage bride & groom hold hands

Excerpt taken from: CHRISTIAN SHRINKS Answer ALL Your Questions…(No Couch Required), Xulon Press, 2005.

THE WOMAN’S CALL

What does the Bible say about the wife’s role in the marriage and home?

God’s Word tells us that the wife is indeed unique, created in a manner unlike any other creature.  Do you realize that God spoke the world and all its creatures into existence?  He made man from the dust of the earth brought to life by His very breath.  But, God created woman from the rib of man.  God didn’t do this because he needed a spare part!   We see this as the ultimate expression of intimacy between a man and woman, and it reflects the Creator’s plan for oneness in the marital bond (Gen 2:1-25).

God could have created woman through any means, but He chose this rendering of life so that man and woman were forever to be “one flesh” (Gen 2:24).  This reality does away with the idea that husbands and wives are to be independent of one another.  Instead we are to relate in an interdependent way.  Each is different, yet each bears gifts and strengths central to the union.  Remove the idea from your mind that dependency is bad.  God requires our dependency on Him and has joined husband and wife in just such a manner.  Early in Genesis, God describes the primary role of woman:

“…I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Gen 2:18b)

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